Answers to some of your most often asked questions

Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
Bob and Charlyne Steinkamp
P.O. Box 10548
Pompano Beach, Florida 33061
(954) 941-6508

Looking for something specific?

| Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 | Page 5 |
| Page 6 | Page 7 | Page 8 | Page 9 | Page 10 |
| Page 11 | Page 12 | Page 13 | Page 14 | Page 15 |
| Page 16 | Page 17 | Page 18 | Page 19 | Page 20 |
| Page 21 | Page 22 | Page 23 | Page 24 | Page 25 |
| Page 26 |

Show All Answers (click this before printing)

Q1: What is your favorite book of all you have written?(click for answer)

Bob responds:
One of the fictions, Pulpits In The Marketplace because it is where so many restored couples live, as God allows other hurting marriages to cross their path.

These answers have developed in response to questions we have received over many years. May you consult the answers with an open Bible and an open heart, thus allowing God's Holy Spirit to help you find the truth.

To order Books and Tapes go to:
http://www.stopdivorce.org

Close Answer

Q2: My spouse has committed adultery. I have just found out that he is involved with my best friend's adult daughter. What should I do?(click for answer)

Charlyne responds:
God hates adultery and sexual immorality. God often reveals to the injured, hurting spouse many things that only God could possibly tell you. God is already becoming your Advocate and spouse for this season. You need to seek the Lord for His wisdom, knowledge and direction. You want to handle every conversation or explosive topics with extreme caution and care. We love the sinner, hate the sin. We suggest you immediately wait, fast and pray seeking the Lord for His will and way regarding your circumstance. Every situation is different. The enemy wants you to confront and expose. Remember how the Lord talked to the woman caught in adultery in John 8:1-11. Often the Lord reveals many things to a stander for you to pray and intercede and do nothing else. Read Psalm 51 as a prayer for your spouse regularly. Read these additional scriptures seeking God's answers: 2 Chronicles 20:1-30; Job 22:30, Genesis 9:20-23 and 2 Timothy 2:22-26, Proverbs 19:21, Proverbs 16:1-9, which are just a few. Another option is if your spouse is a believer, read Matthew 18:15-17. We personally suggest you pray before confronting because it often leads to more hostility on the person living in sin until the Holy Spirit speaks conviction to their heart. God's way is the best way. Wait for Him to speak to you.

These answers have developed in response to questions we have received over many years. May you consult the answers with an open Bible and an open heart, thus allowing God's Holy Spirit to help you find the truth.

To order Books and Tapes go to:
http://www.stopdivorce.org

Close Answer

Q3: How do I stand when we battle in court? They seem in opposition.(click for answer)

Charlyne responds:
You are praying for God's justice and asking your Lord to be your Advocate and Defender. You are praying for the court dates and divorce to be canceled, postponed and blocked forever.

These answers have developed in response to questions we have received over many years. May you consult the answers with an open Bible and an open heart, thus allowing God's Holy Spirit to help you find the truth.

To order Books and Tapes go to:
http://www.stopdivorce.org

Close Answer

Q4: How do I know that God is hearing my prayers?(click for answer)

Charlyne responds:
If you have accepted Jesus Christ as Savior of your life, you can know for certain that He hears your prayers. Throughout the Bible there are promises that He hears our cries. Read John Chapter 10.

These answers have developed in response to questions we have received over many years. May you consult the answers with an open Bible and an open heart, thus allowing God's Holy Spirit to help you find the truth.

To order Books and Tapes go to:
http://www.stopdivorce.org

Close Answer

Q5: I am having trouble truly letting go of things. I give it to the Lord and then turn around and take it back. Will I ever learn?(click for answer)

Kim responds:
It is sometimes hard to let go of things, isn't it? We always think we can do it better or quicker. But God has His plan and we just have to trust Him enough to follow it. Even if we slip up, He is there to set us back on His path.

"If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand." Psalm 37:23-24

We don't always understand what is happening in our lives. Indeed, we often wonder if God cares or even sees what is going on. But God does see and He does care and He has set His plan in motion from the minute you began to pray.

"As soon as you began to pray, an answer was given, which I have come to tell you, for you are highly esteemed. Therefore, consider the message and understand the vision." Daniel 9:23

Lay it all at Jesus' feet. He is the One who can give you the help and strength you need. He is the One who wants to take your burdens from you.

These answers have developed in response to questions we have received over many years. May you consult the answers with an open Bible and an open heart, thus allowing God's Holy Spirit to help you find the truth.

To order Books and Tapes go to:
http://www.stopdivorce.org

Close Answer

Q6: Should I continue to stand after divorce?(click for answer)

Bob responds:
Here is what one stander wrote: "My divorce was final yesterday. I thought why this happened and what would I do now. God told me, 'I've been with you since you've been alone. I'm not going to leave you now.' I also know that I and my children remain in the safety and comfort of God's loving arms.

These answers have developed in response to questions we have received over many years. May you consult the answers with an open Bible and an open heart, thus allowing God's Holy Spirit to help you find the truth.

To order Books and Tapes go to:
http://www.stopdivorce.org

Close Answer

Q7: You were the prodigal so how can you know anything about standing or what we go through?(click for answer)

Bob responds:
I have lived with a stander for over two decades and can connect the dots between what I did and what Charlyne experienced. In addition, God has allowed me to meet and get to hear about thousands of other standers in 20 years.

These answers have developed in response to questions we have received over many years. May you consult the answers with an open Bible and an open heart, thus allowing God's Holy Spirit to help you find the truth.

To order Books and Tapes go to:
http://www.stopdivorce.org

Close Answer

Q8: How can I forgive my spouse for what they have done and are doing to our family?(click for answer)

Charlyne responds:
Jesus taught forgiveness throughout His ministry. Read the Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6:5-15. We need to realize we need to forgive our spouse or anyone who has sinned against us. "But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:15

When Bob was gone, the Lord gave me a scripture regarding forgiveness. At that particular time I was having trouble with forgiving Bob and having faith. The Lord gave me this scripture:
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what He says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Mark 11:22-26

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14

We must forgive our spouses before we can deepen our personal relationship with our Lord. We also must forgive our spouses if we want the Lord to forgive us! We especially must forgive our spouses if we want them to come back home. We have to be able to love them unconditionally.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
I Corinthians 13:4-8

Did you notice that the famous "Love scripture" says "keeps no record of wrongs?" I had a computer mind, I remembered all of Bob's past sins regardless if I had forgiven him. I had to ask the Lord to go to the "Trash bin" and push delete on my memory. What a victory day for me and with the Lord. I received a total peace and release for me keeping records of Bob's sins. Every night I would tell God I forgive Bob for all that he has done wrong today. Then I would pray and claim my scriptures with his name in them. Bob's sins were between Bob and God.

These answers have developed in response to questions we have received over many years. May you consult the answers with an open Bible and an open heart, thus allowing God's Holy Spirit to help you find the truth.

To order Books and Tapes go to:
http://www.stopdivorce.org

Close Answer

Q9: How about telling about tough love? I have given and given and my spouse just keeps taking. I am enabling my spouse to have that life and not to have the consequences of it.(click for answer)

Bob responds:
Doesn't Jesus say the same thing about us? Yet He keeps loving us with unconditional love. Be like Jesus. It is not your place to punish your spouse.

These answers have developed in response to questions we have received over many years. May you consult the answers with an open Bible and an open heart, thus allowing God's Holy Spirit to help you find the truth.

To order Books and Tapes go to:
http://www.stopdivorce.org

Close Answer

Q10: Should a returning prodigal confess everything to their spouse?(click for answer)

Bob responds:
Not at first. There should be no secrets, but God will tell the prodigal when, what and how to confess, after He has prepared the mate's heart. (By the way, the stander should not be asking for details, either.)

These answers have developed in response to questions we have received over many years. May you consult the answers with an open Bible and an open heart, thus allowing God's Holy Spirit to help you find the truth.

To order Books and Tapes go to:
http://www.stopdivorce.org

Close Answer