Charlyne responds:
What a praise! Your spouse is home. Now you get to apply all that you have learning.
Often when a spouse comes home, they are coming home for many different reasons. Some come home because the other person is pushing for marriage or there is strife between them. (Often due to the results of you praying.) Another reason that a spouse comes home is that they know they should have never left. They are trying to correct the mistakes that they have made in their life. The best way for a spouse to come home is confessing, repenting and crying out to their Lord for help. They are sorry for all that they have done to their marriage and their family.
Bob came home suddenly in obedience and fear of God. His Heavenly Father had spoken very distinctly to him. That happens to many prodigal spouses. I always suggest you pray, break, smash and destroy all soul ties between your spouse and any other ungodly relationships.
Some spouses that come home are afraid how to get back into the family's routine, when you have been living without them for a period of time. You need to try to bring them back into feeling accepted by all family members.
Many prodigals who come home start feeling the spiritual battle between Satan and Jesus Christ. One is leading them into restoration, while the enemy is tempting your spouse with the other person in many different ways. Offer to your spouse that you do not mind them telling you when the other person calls or contacts them. You then must react as Jesus would and pray for them. Do not get mad or upset with either person. This is a spiritual battle. Read Ephesians 6:10-13.
You need to walk in faith and trust your Lord. Just keep praying for the Holy Spirit to give them strength to leave the other world of sin and darkness. Daily pray for their salvation and for a new life in Jesus Christ. Pray that your spouse will repent and accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord of their life and turn from the temptations of the world.
Bob and I know that you want all the love and feelings back into your marriage with all the bad memories to be gone instantly, but that does not always happen. Pray Psalm 51 as a prayer with your husband/wife's name in it regularly. Give them time. Believe in them and give them space. You can trust God only for complete restoration of your marriage.
This may be very hard for your spouse to be back home for many different reasons. Bob had to deal with grief and sorrow of his other relationship being broken and severed by knowing that is best for him, his family and God's will. He still cared and worried about the other person for awhile. That is why some spouses come and go two or three times before all contact with the other person is broken forever. Satan may retreat for a short while, but never stop praying for your returned spouse being home. Satan may try another trick or scheme.
Bob spoke to a counselor after his return home about the battle that was raging in his mind. The counselor told him to break off all ties with the other person, regardless of all circumstances. Then Bob was told to wait 6 months and see what the Lord had done in his mind and heart. Yes, there were telephone calls and her showing up but by then, Bob had grown in the Lord and there was victory. Now you and your spouse always need to be alert for any temptations. Pray that you or your spouse will recognize any tricks or schemes and say NO!
What would Jesus do? Love your spouse unconditionally and wait on the Lord. Read Romans 12:9-end and I Corinthians 13:4-8. God gave me those two scriptures while I was standing. Some additional scriptures that I suggest to pray with your spouse's name in are: Psalm 51, Job 33:12-end, Hosea 2:6&7, Ephesians 1:16-20, Ephesians 3:16-20,
Ephesians 6:10-18 (Armor of God), Galatians 5:19-24 and Colossians 1:9-14.
Pray that all generational curses, impurities, sexual immorality and all idols will be removed, broken, severed, and destroyed from your spouse. That your husband or wife will be cleansed and given a new heart of flesh and remove their heart of stone. (Read Ezekiel 36:25-36.) Your spouse is not the enemy, but Satan. They have been blinded and deceived to God's way and truths. That is why we suggest you pray that your spouse will have a Damascus Road Experience even now while they are living at home. You need to pray without ceasing as never before.
Remember to pray Hosea 2:6-7. Also may I suggest you read Romans Chapters 6-8. Please note the scripture in Romans 7:14-25. That is the battle that we have been talking about. There is victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. The Lord gave me a scripture three weeks after Bob came home and when Bob was saying it is too hard. Read Isaiah 28:23-29.
Depending on your marriage, and God's wisdom and instruction, you may consider counseling, if you and your spouse agree. If it will cause strife, allow your Lord to be the perfect Counselor as in Isaiah 9:6.
Bob and I wrote a book together, "After The Prodigal Returns/Standing After the Prodigal Returns" that we share about the adjustments that you face after your spouse returns home. We also have a teaching that has helped many standers, "My Spouse Has Come Home! What Do I Do?" Both resources are available at Rejoice Marriage Ministries' Bookstore. Go to:
http://www.stopdivorce.org/
God does heal hurting and dead marriages. God is moving, trust Him. Just keep praising the Lord and keep praying.
"Then the nations around you that remain will know that I the Lord have rebuilt what was destroyed and have replanted what was desolate. I the Lord have spoken, and I will do it." Ezekiel 36:36
These answers have developed in response to questions we have received over many years. May you consult the answers with an open Bible and an open heart, thus allowing God's Holy Spirit to help you find the truth.
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http://www.stopdivorce.org
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